Stream It Or Skip It: ‘If I Can’t Have You’ on Peacock, a Quasi-Erotic Thriller Featuring Upsettingly Tepid Portrayals of Lust and Obsession

If I Can’t Have You (now streaming on Peacock) is one of those odd in-betweeners of the streaming era, a TV-MA erotic thriller that keeps the erotic thrills in the PG-13 zone and, minus a few curse words, would’ve been a made-for-TV movie in a previous era. The basic cable vibes just waft off this overwrought melodrama, which features highly attractive people making bad decisions and reciting bad dialogue – and any hopes of redemption via some steamy horny content or a few campy yuks are ultimately dashed on the rocks of mediocrity. 

The Gist: “Today it was her smoke detector, tomorrow it could be her car, and the day after that it’s her vagina!” – laugh at this now, because amusement is otherwise rather hard to come by in this movie. Detecting a potential slippery slope, Eva (Dawn Halfkenny) spits this little missive at her hubs after he helps

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