Primitive War (now streaming on Hulu) stops just shy of putting tyrannosaurs in F14s, which is kind of a shame, really. But Australian director Luke Sparke puts them and a raft of other dinosaurs in the Vietnamese jungle during the Vietnam War, which is almost as ludicrous. How they got there is best explained by Battlestar Galactica vet Tricia Helfer donning a terrible Rooshyen ahcksent, or perhaps not. Regardless, she, Jeremy Piven and maybe Ryan Kwanten (True Blood) are the most-recognizables among the cast, which paychecks its way through a bloody ridiculous sci-fi action-thriller/pseudo-war-movie that’s better than a Syfy original, but is still pretty far removed from the relative polish of a Hollywood production. But maybe it has its charms?
The Gist: THE NIGHT. IS IT DARK? CHECK. STORMY? CHECK. IS IT SPICED UP WITH FREQUENT LIGHTNING AND GURGLY GROWLS FROM SOMEWHERE BEHIND US?
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